


Afscheid nemen bestaat niet (No such thing as goodbye)

by ironniek



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Conflicted Daniel, Daniel moving to Renault drama, Hurt Daniel, Hurt Max, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, they're both idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironniek/pseuds/ironniek
Summary: He’s not leaving. He’s just moving. Or the one that is their last one as team mates.





	Afscheid nemen bestaat niet (No such thing as goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

> I've used a dutch song, translated it the best I could for the fic. It doesn't exactly work on the melody of the original but who cares. If you want to listen to the dutch version its Afscheid nemen bestaat niet by Marco Borsato.  
> It's not a very long fic but I just suddenly had this idea and finished it in under an hour. Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, I'm only human, (dyslectic and english isn't my first language) so please read over them thank you.  
> Anyway have fun on the angst train choo choo.

_There’s no such thing as saying goodbye_

_I will go away, but I won’t leave you_

_Dear, you have to believe me_

_Even though it hurts._

 

‘’I’m not leaving, just moving.’’ He had said, ‘’I’ll still be here with you, not right beside you but I’ll still be here.’’ He had assured him but only convincing himself. The look in Max his eyes said enough, he wished he could tell him something different too. Words died on his lips, not knowing what to say anymore. Air forces his way out of his body as Max slams into him helping himself to a tight hug, he slowly wraps his arms around the other, trying to comfort him. Nothing is said for a while, the two men standing there, seeking comfort in each other. It felt good, the decision  until it didn’t, he shouldn’t give up hope. He isn’t leaving, he’s just moving. If he’ll keep telling himself that he’ll be fine.

 

_I want you to let me go_

_And that you will go on tomorrow_

_But if you’re lonely or scared_

_I will be there._

 

‘’Please stop looking at me like it’s my fault your car doesn’t work.’’ Max his voice is raised, he’s not throwing a tantrum, he’s really not. Under the angry look in his eyes there’s a hurt one. Daniel’s still sitting on the bed, not quite registering what just happened, he was just lost in his thoughts.

‘’I don’t do that.’’ The Australian tries to defend himself his tone sharp, knowing full well it’s unfair of him to do so. Of course it hurts, seeing him up there on the podium, a smile on his face. Of course it hurts seeing one car work and the other failing.

‘’Yes you do.’’ His voice shooting an octave higher than normally, Daniel snaps out of it. Max suddenly looks a few years younger, defeated. ‘’You know full well you do it.’’ Daniel feels himself break in a million pieces. ‘’I don’t want this to tear us apart. This can’t tear us apart. It’s not my fault.’’ He’s close to crying, turning around he walks to the bathroom.

‘’Max… no.’’ Daniel scrambles off the bed, reaching for him and pulling him back. Max struggles briefly before closing his eyes, shaking his head and leaning against him, arms moving to wrap them around the other tightly. ‘’I’m sorry, of course it isn’t your fault.’’ Daniel presses a kiss on his temple and closes his eyes. ‘’I’m sorry sweetheart, I love you, of course this shouldn’t tear us apart.’’ He whispers to comfort the Dutchman. Max looks up at him, eyes wide, he realizes what he said. Max doesn’t speak, he doesn’t have to, Daniel knows what he’s thinking. ‘’Of course I love you, silly.’’ He can’t help but chuckle. Max presses his lips against his for a kiss, soft and simple.

‘’For the record, don’t think yellow suits you.’’ Max mumbles, a wide smile on his face. Daniel shakes his head, he laughs and pulls him in for another kiss to wipe the smile off his face. They’ll be fine, he’s not leaving, just moving.

 

_I’ll come like the wind that you feel and the rain_

_Follow what you do like the light of the moon_

_Search for me in everything and you will find me_

_Whisper my name, and I will be there._

 

The air around him tense and the people walking on their toes, that’s how the day has been. Another bad race result, another failure, another DNF behind his name. He’s used to it by now. A tear runs down his cheek, he shouldn’t cry. A knock on his door, first softly then louder. The last time in the drivers room, the last time pulling on the suit, the last time pulling it off. It’s hard to believe it’s real, difficult to realize that this is his reality, he can’t take the suit off. The third knock on the door sounds more like someone slamming into it than a knock, he still doesn’t answer. The room resembles his mood, empty and somber. There’s another knock on his door, a call of his name this time, he recognizes Max, he doesn’t answer. A scream is stuck in his throat, he can’t let it out, he doesn’t want to be vulnerable.

‘’Daniel I swear to god if you don’t open this door now I’ll break the whole thing.’’ Max his voice sounds sharp, Daniel can’t help but be a bit startled. ‘’Danny please, I can be here for you.’’ Softer this time ‘’let me be there for you…’’ he sounds desperate.

‘’It’s open.’’ His voice is hoarse and he closes his eyes, groaning softly at the ache of his throat. The door opens, slowly, everything is moving so slowly. ‘’You shouldn’t be here watching me feeling sorry for myself, you won, you should be celebrating.’’ He doesn’t look up, afraid to do so.

Max kneels in front of him, reaching to grab his hands. ‘’There’s no celebration when you’re not there.’’ His voice soft, Daniel almost believes him, he feels bad for it. ‘’Don’t do that Daniel, I mean it’’ Max whispers out once he sees the expression on the Aussie’s face, Daniel finally lifting his head. There’s tears in Max’s eyes too, he’s surprised to see them.

‘’I’m sorry Maxy, shouldn’t be reflecting this to you.’’ He tries giving him a small smile, judging by the look on Max’s face he didn’t succeed. Releasing a sigh he pulls the other into a hug, ‘’can I just hold you for a while.’’ His face pressed against the Dutchman’s neck. Max settles against him, getting comfortable on his lap, Daniel takes that as a yes. The rest of the world fades as they sit there, that’s all what matters. It’ll all be okay eventually, he’ll be okay eventually. He’s not leaving. Just moving.

 

_There’s no such thing as saying goodbye._

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments cure my depression. Hope you liked it.


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